My oldest starts this morning off in a bad way. He is Bi-polar and well he is being very bi-polar already, he is mean and aggressive and already yelling. It is only 9:25am and I have already been called and idiot, stupid and a few other names I will not type. He has already called his brothers retarded and idiots as well. He has thrown himself against a wall and tore up his room. This is child is my son, but sometimes I feel like I wish he wasn't....I love him and can't stand him all at the same time, I feel bad about felling this way, but it is not fair. How did I end up with a bi-polar child???What have I done to deserve this kind of punishment?? I have always asked myself these questions every since he was diagnosed and well even before the diagnosis. He has finally calmed down for the moment , but who knows for how long. Sorry to ramble but this seems to help me deal, to write things out instead of crying.. He scares me and he scares his brothers. My son with autism doesn't understand...well hell I don't understand either.
All I want is happy kids and a happy family. But my oldest is never happy, except when he is in a manic state..which doesn't happen very often. He is mainly depressed and mad all the time. the doctors don't have any answers, only therapy and medications...well we have been doing this and guess what, he is still bi-polar and still has his days that is really bad... I guess today is one of those days...Lord help us all, it is going to be a LONG day.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
It is a Bi-Polar day....
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4 comments:
that sucks. I know how you feel and how he feels. It sucks, I started calling them bi po mo's (bi polar moments) some last longer than others. There is no way to explain why you are angry, or sad or anxious it is a mood and it just sucks.
therapy and meds are great, where would we be without them? i don't want to know. since bi polar disorder is a chemical disorder and he is still growing I imagine it is going to take a while to get his meds just right. Or by the time you do they need to change again.
You are an incredibly strong woman to have dealt with all the things life has thrown at you. If it makes you feel better (or worse) I believe our children choose US before they are born and he chose you. He knew you could handle being his mom. I think you can too.
so on another note, tag you're it.
; )
Thanks and I also tagged you back.
I've created a tag monster!! AHHH!! I keep getting tagged again!! :)
I'm sorry to hear about your bi-polar son. My best friend is bi-polar and recently her moods were fluctuating so badly and so quickly she had to be sedated and put on suicide watch. She has 6 kids so her mom helped her out. Anyway, I don't know what's wrong with my 3 yr old but he's angry a lot too. We're working on a diagnosis and I keep wondering if Bi-polar might be what is wrong. Who knows...they say he's too young to diagnose.
You might find support in an online support group I belong to. It's on Yahoo! and it's called ShadowSyndromeKids. I suggest checking it out. The people on there are very kind and very supportive.
Thanks, I will check into it...I hope next week is better....this has just been a long week....and he has calmed down some....it is a roller coaster ride with him.
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